i guess i should probably update this journal and change some of the titling around—wondering why? Well because I’ve officially been a momma for 3 months and a few days. My twin daughters were born on Thanksgiving day at 1:27 and 1:29 AM. Mothering two sweet girls is so much more than i ever even imagined it could be. Some days are hard, on those days i want to hinernate until the better ones come. But most days, i’m overwhelmed with joy for my sweet babes.
Thats one one of the things no one tells you after a successful IVF—it’s okay to not love EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF MOTHERHOOD OR PARENTHOOD. Some days you’re going to forget just how much you struggled to get to this point and on those days you may fantasize about your life before babies. Like me yesterday, i got in the car to go get my haircut and found myself blasting the radio and crying. It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve gotten to be that carefree.
Maybe i just need to stop trying to be super amazing at everything mom related. I know it’s impossible but i still try for it. I just need to let loose and have some fun with it. Basically, we need more dance parties in the living room and more times being goofy. It’s just so easy to become robotic and forget who you are and how to just ‘let go’.
So this week i’m going to strive for that—and if you’re reading this and you should too because we’re all too hard on ourselves and we need to find that inner carefree soul within us more often.
Wilhelmina & Havana—my darling girls