today>

today was one of those days that you stop and think, I am the luckiest person. Really I guess it wasn’t luck but more so science–yet I still feel so lucky. Our Day 5 call came and we got word that 11 of our little darlings made it to freeze and that there was one more itty bit that they’re watching until Day 6–guess what? Our little nugget pulled through so we froze all in all TWELVE little embabies. We opted to perform genetic testing on our embryos (PGS testing) so the embryologist took biopsies of our twelve babies and had them sent off to the genetics lab. <Today> I got the call–while sitting down at my desk at work, thinking of all of the things we would do as a family, imagining children I have yet to meet and my husband as the most amazing father that I know he will be.

After getting off the one with our IVF coordinator I just kept laughing–I knew my husband was going to have a pretty atypical response to how many sons and daughters we have waiting for us. Rachel, our coordinator at our fertility clinic had such a smile in her voice when she told me the news-we did it, it worked, half the battle is done and we are so freaking close to beating infertility.

The phone call: hubs decided not to answer his work phone-I call his cell phone and he was at the grocery store getting beer for himself and his co-workers [yes we all want his job haha]. He goes “do you know anything yet?”, I say “yes, do you want to know?” He told me to wait until he gets to his truck. While he’s walking he tells me he saw a mother in the store with her tiny little baby girl and he kept thinking I cant wait for that. He just melts my heart–throughout this journey they say it can break you, your spouse and your marriage but I tell you what-it’s only made us stronger-I get to fight one hell of a battle with the man who vowed to love me through it all.

Back to the phone call–I proceeded to tell him “8 of our embryos are genetically normal–we have a total of # boys and # girls”, hubs glorious response “are you f****** kidding me?” hahahaha you’re probably thinking ‘what is wrong with this guy?’ but you would just have to know my husband to find this funny. He has done nothing but tell our family and friends that know we are currently going through IVF that he wants twin girls–two little frilly versions of their mother–basically two little monsters. I told him “honey this is the universe’s way of telling us two little me’s is all that we can handle–he realized what a blessing we have after I said this. We have eight little chances to beat this–eight little times we could become parents–for this I am forever grateful.

To my little babies:

I cannot wait to hold you, kiss you, see if you look like myself or your father. I cannot wait to watch you make mistakes, to watch you have the same love that I have for your father with your own partner, I cannot wait to watch you learn and help you grow. We struggled–not nearly for as long or as hard as others in our same journey but we wished so badly for you to be here and we are so blessed to be your parents. You will probably have thick blond locks that are way too unruly–for that I am sorry, I hope you have your fathers bright blue eyes and his love for everything numeric. I hope you love adventure and I hope we do our very best to raise you with a free-spirit and teach you to live in a world where you stand on your own. I cannot wait to be your mother–for you to be our everything and for us to show you the world.

All my love my darlings,

your momma.

 

 

 

 

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twenty-three, going through first round of IVF with MFI, I'm scared, excited and extremely hopefull

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